 |
| click picture to see photographs |
Two weeks off between jobs, and I plan to use the time to detox my body and my brain. It's been a strangely tumultous month.
What with turning 35, changing jobs, issues with my startup, and other unsettling events in my otherwise quiet life, I need to slow down for a bit. The equilibrium has been disturbed, my thought process is cluttered and running amuck. I sometimes define myself by Descartes' "Cogito, ergo sum", but now I feel I need to stop the thinking. My mind is in overdrive, and I am going nuts.
I head off to Michigan to catch up with Sonali, Manoj, and the kids. Haven't played with children in a long time, and apparently, I am not "smarter than a 5th grader". Spend a lovely two days with them, and miss them all so much when I leave.
Back in Boston, and I need to get away again.
I head off to meditate in the Bahamas, trying to find nirvana, which interestingly enough, is the mind being in a state of perfect lucidity due to the absence of desires ... hmmmm ..
I arrive in Nassau, where the temperature is in the low seventies, and am welcomed by the sound of the swishing palm trees. I ask for a cab, and am given a town car. I like this place already.
It's a cold day here, the cab driver informs me. Having just left the low thirties of Boston, seventy is just fine and dandy to me, thank you very much. Like all Bahamians, the cab driver is chatty. Everyone here is "darling" - quite a contrast with the cold Bostonians. It must be the weather that makes the people in Boston crabby. And there's the ocean - oh my gosh - words cannot describe the color. It's blue, no it's green, maybe blue-green, perhaps cerulean, hmmmm turquoise ... It's the color of the rainbow when blue meets green, and I want to just jump right in.
A tiny boat takes me to Paradise Island and the ashram, which is like a little tropical haven. It is austere, pristine and quite out of place amidst all the ghastly luxury resorts with their multitudinous tourists and their umberella drinks. I am glad to not be part of the hoi polloi.
I love it instantly. My room is about 7' x 8' with two tiny little beds (more like skinny mattresses on wooden platforms). I lie down and fall into a peaceful sleep. I guess one doesn't really need the "heavenly bed and multiple shower jets" at the W or the Westin after all. There's no alcohol, only vegetarian food, and I have to wake up at 5:30 for morning meditation.
Four o' clock in the evening, and I go to my first two hour session of meditation and yoga. I am on a platform looking out at the ocean. Absolute serenity. I am doing pretty well, until the teacher says "OK, now we do a head stand". Who, me?? - I can barely stand on my two legs given the broken knee cap and everything else. Whooop, the man next to me is up on his head in a flash. He must be about seventy years old, and not only is he up on his head, but also appears to be doing some sort of upside down bicyle motion while his legs are up in the air, as I watch on, mouth agape. I do however, do well on the shoulder stands, and other bendy things. I am quite bendy.
I spend my time doing four hours of yoga & meditation a day, and lounge away the lazy afternoons on the beach. I haven't swum in the ocean in years (what can I say? I'm from Mumbai, and the waters of New England are just too cold in comparison). The waves feel great even though I am terrified of them. The sun feels even better. I frolick and jump around in the water like a child. I am happy and destressed (the Thai massage certainly helps). I make all kinds of friends - Anders from Sweden, Patricia from Montreal, Richard and his wife from New Hampshire.
Oh yes, I meet an astrologer (how can one not??), who tells me that I am about to embark on something new, at which I will have great success. I guess that's the new job. Apparently now until August is an auspicious time in my life, so if I want to marry or buy a home, this is when I should do it. So I have three months to find the love of my life --- funny, funny, funny!! Easier to just buy another house.
This is a quiet place for quiet thoughts, and I feel amazing. I leave Boston behind, but find that I cannot meditate - my mind wanders.
But one day, just for a fraction of a second, lying on the yoga deck facing the ocean, I am completely still. For one fleeting moment, my mind is calm and clear of all thought. I try to get back into that state of stillness, but cannot. Apparently it takes time, so someday I'll be able to stop thought again and see my soul.
And in my quiet moments, I have several private introspections - I tune in to the forgotten person inside me. I think about the person I want to be, about the people I love, about the person I want to spend my life with, etc. However, it does not take long for the city to wipe these thoughts away, so I have to often stop and breathe and remind myself of them.
I come away, stronger both inside and outside (four hours of yoga a day makes me discover muscles I did not even know I had). I'm not quite a new person or anything like that. (Not that I want to be a new person since I'm pretty fond of the old one).
No nirvana yet :) - still have desire(s) but will try to not let them consume me. Defintely going back in January.
