Sunday, January 01, 2017

Chapter 4 - from the yet unnamed book I am writing

I've started a story. This is chapter 4.

Ginny - present day

The drumming rain poured down in torrents, hammering against the roof. Monsoon winds howled like banshees in the night. Palm trees swayed dangerously - whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Lightning and thunder relentlessly rolled through the dark sky. What a cliche, Ginny thought - a storm - a metaphor for the storm in her head, which felt like it was about to explode. The noise made it worse. She closed her eyes - spots flashed, as a thousand needles poked against her eyelids. But worse than the headache were the thoughts rushing through her head. They never stopped whirling around and around, like leaves in a tornado. And they always returned to the same thing. No matter how hard she tried to shift the pattern of her thoughts, they looped back, and memories flooded in.

As she sat in the dark, listening to the rain, willing her headache to disappear, she thought about Duke. She saw his eyes, blue as the summer sky. She felt his hands brushing against her skin, his lips as they kissed her, his body as it pressed against hers. The electric sparks that ignited in her very soul from even just a glance across the room. She yearned for the calming comfort of his presence, and the safety of his arms as they held her close.  He’d know what to do - but he wasn’t here, was he? He wasn’t here when she needed him the most. She was hollow inside from missing him.

She was done crying. She got up to pour herself a drink, and stubbed her toe in the dark. “Fuck! fuck! fuck!” she screamed, each syllable getting progressively louder. Maybe if she shouted loud enough, the hurt would somehow be expelled along with the sound waves.

Scotch in hand, Ginny stepped out onto the veranda. She looked at the waves as they lashed against the shore. This was the house of her dreams - ever since she was a child, she'd draw it in art class - red tile roofs, palm trees blowing in the wind, the smiling yellow sun shining down from behind pointy brown mountains - it was a happy house, a happy dream filled with promise. But the reality of it wasn’t quite like her dream. The reality was that the house was empty, and lonely. And the ocean scared her - its vast inky blackness petrified her. The beating waves, higher and higher, endlessly churning, were unnerving. Mostly it terrified her because it beckoned her to walk in. Virginia, it creepily called out. One of the few voices that called her by her real name, Virginia. It would be so easy to just step off the veranda and walk away into the dark sea. So easy ...


Ginny Holiday - rock star. Icon to young women everywhere. She was what every girl wanted to be. Beautiful, with the voice of an angel. Her voice was liquid gold - fluid and shimmery. It could make you weep, it could make you soar to an ecstatic high, it could make you dance into the night. It had the power to do that. But only for everyone else. For all the magic her voice held, it didn’t bring out any emotion in her - Not recently. Not since she found out about Jilly.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Pearls of wisdom

Pithy aphorisms that I've made up:

  • And if I died, will I have lived
  • How often have you not "got what you wanted" simply because you didn’t ask?
  • Sometimes you get so caught up in chasing after a dream that you forget your reality is quite fabulous as it is

  • Don't as why me, ask why not me (borrowed from Sheila Johnson)

  • Age brings wisdom, and wisdom is the loss of innocence

Sunday, February 03, 2013

The end of the world

According to the Mayan calendar, the world was to end on 12/21/12. I wrote this the night before

As I lay me down to sleep
I pray to God my soul to keep
And since they say the world might end
I share this thought with every friend

Just for a day, pretend it's true
Do the things you've always wanted to

If tomorrow went away
What would you do today
Whom would you call
What would you say
Just for a day, pretend it's true
Call someone who means the world to you

Sing, paint, eat, dance
Hug, kiss, love
And since they say the world might end
I share this thought with every friend

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Central to Downtown Crossing - ten minutes on the Red Line

I step on the train and wobble around helplessly as it jerks to a start while I have nothing to hold on to. As I regain my balance and some semblance of my dignity, I feel a pair of eyes looking at me - it's the young man in the seat near me.

His glance moves from my face, down to my red shoes, and upwards to the gold anklet, stockinged legs, and finally my amused smile. He smiles back, proceeds to pull out a pack of little colored paper squares, and picks one out with a flourish - yellow. "Ummm ... are you giving me your number?", I ask warily, a little surprised. No answer, just a twinkle in his eye.

He goes on to make tiny little folds in the paper - and then, like magic, there appears an origami crane, complete with flapping wings. He smiles, flaps its wings, and without saying a word, hands it to me. My station arrives - I get off the train.

I keep the precious little bird - it's a reminder that chance gestures by random strangers can bring a smile to your face, and joy to your day.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

How I'd like to live

Written in 2001 (or thereabouts). I try to live this, but it's not always easy
-------------

I'd like to be, the best I can be
To live each day like there's no tomorrow
To laugh like a child
To see beauty in all things
To give without expecting anything in return
To love selflessly and unconditionally
To be a good child, a good sibling, a good friend
To do unto others as I would have done unto me
To have faith in the things I believe in
And to live my life, truthfully, with integrity, dignity, compassion and fairness

Memories of singing with the Stop Gaps

Once again browsing through old papers, I found a poem I wrote when I sang with the Stop Gaps (1993). Keeping in mind copyright etc, it's an adaptation of a poem in Mad magazine:

-------------
Although the people here you see
Should sing in perfect harmony
They're such a temperamental crew
It's quite surprising what they do

The tenors strongly feel the bases
Are a bunch of pompous asses
The bases on the other hand
Believe the tenors should be banned
The sopranos sometimes condescend
The altos voice, to comprehend
While the altos feel that they alone
Can mollify the baritone

It carries on, this endless nightmare
As voices shout, and tempers flare
But then appears the one man, who
Can unify this snarling crew
He is the great conductor, and
He soon reveals he's in command
To ensure a perfect rhapsody
He shrieks the choir into key
He yells at everyone in sight
Maybe that A-flat was a cry of fright
He raves, he rants, he isn't nice
He turns the singers into mice

And then at last, it is show time
Every singer is in his prime
The hall is packed, no seat to spare
With concert lovers everywhere
The great conductor marches on
And raps the stand with his baton
The music swells, a joy to hear
A great success - a grand premier
The crown applauds the wondrous sound
The concert ends, he turns around
Takes fifteen bows and off he struts
WHILE SIXTY SINGERS HATE HIS GUTS

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Both these poems were written by my mother, in memory of my sister Mona

Remembering Mona

In my little room
I while away time
Just looking around
Thinking of you

Every moment I miss you
It was so hard to part
And each memory of you
Is cherished in my heart

My beautiful baby
So brave and so kind
All I have now is the memories
That you've left behind

Just looking around
There's so much to do
And right here before me
Is a picture of you

You're looking at me
With your beautiful smile
Saying I'm happy in heaven
So mamma dont cry

Don't cry for me mummy
Here there's no pain
So au revoir for now
Until we meet again

Mummy
7/7/2009

------------------

She was only fifty seven
When she was called up to heaven
This lovely sweet daughter of mine

She was admired for her beauty
By young, old and sundry
This lovely sweet daughter of mine

They needed a star up there over yonder
And the brightest star was still to find

He felt she was meant for ..
That star, so He sent for ..
This lovely sweet daughter of mine

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

my walk for Lymphoma

Welcome to my Team In Training home page.

This year I will walk/run 26 miles, to complete a marathon in memory of my sister Laurainne (Mona) whom we lost to non-Hodgkins lymphoma in April.

Mona, you are my inspiration, and everything I ever want to be.

You fought the good fight, you finished the race, you kept the faith.

-- this is my song for you, duckie --

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me

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Each of your donations helps accelerate finding a cure for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma. More than 823,000 Americans are battling these blood cancers, and your contributions to Team In Training will help bring them hope and support.

On behalf of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, I thank you very much. I greatly appreciate your generosity.

Please visit my web site often to see my progress.

Gaelyn